An Almost Suicide
by Aburame Megumi
Summary: Tenten has a lot going on in her life her jealousy towards Temari and her love for Neji don't help...Ok, that sounded uber lame, but its not! Please review! . holds out hat for spare change


_Megumi explains: _

This sequence is for a book I'm currently writing. But then I suddenly saw it being Neji and Tenten. Don't ask. OOC Neji, but too bad. Now, why Temari and Tenten are friends, don't ask. Why Temari's popular, don't ask. Why Tenten's emo, don't ask. WHY KAKASHI IS SELLING DRUGS TO TENTEN, I don't wanna know. So, gomen nasai, kakashi fangirls. Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound totally pathetic. PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW TO IMPROVE!

**An Almost Suicide…**

_My name is Tenten,, otherwise known as the mediocre volleyball player, or the one-who-I-can't-remember-her-name, or the one who can't do anything worth mentioning.. I am a shadow no one claims, who wanders aimlessly until someone sees me. I am the one that easily misses her aim, who seems to be second best in everything…_

_My parents died about a year ago. I was so caught up in it that I failed English 9. Yes. I was stupid enough to fail the English HSA. So came another year of being a freshman in a sense. Not exactly what I hoped for. As Temari, my best friend was graduating, I wondered if I could ever compare, if I could do something worthwhile… _

_Life seemed like such a mess, and that was when I discovered that my Uncle Kakashi (?!?!?!) was a drug dealer. I had no idea, and I tried to get away from him and his coke scented breath. But as soon as he discovered that I knew, he convinced me to try drugs. And I got hooked. My mind went insane, as though I was living in some sort of nightmare. I was always praying that I would wake up, but I never did, and my head kept on spinning day and night. I couldn't get any sleep. I was getting Es on my report card. Teachers were calling home. I couldn't have that -it would look like I could do nothing. _

_But I can, world-just wait and watch me. I'll prove it to you all-I'm worth something. I'll hold on, though death is slowly clawing at me…_

_Things haven't improved. Life was just a mess before my eyes. And that's where I am now-Tenten –have you ever heard my name?_

It was a week of tension and a week of excitement. There were Semester exams for me, Temari's try-out for the Spring Musical and Tenten was tense about her last Volleyball game of the season. Tenten often had an apprehensious look on her face-worry and doubt flooding to her eyes. Tenten was the "alright" kind of sports player. She wasn't the MVP, but neither was she the "Least likely to succeed". But still, I sensed that she was unsatisfied with herself-that she wanted to be more than just "Okay". To her, Temari was the model of perfection. She was popular, pretty, and was always happy and satisfied with life. And mainly-she was jealous concerning how just about every sophomore guy in Black Forest High School professed love for her friend. Tenten had a love of her own-a guy that she expected never noticed her-Neji Hyuuga. He was the most popular guy in the sophomore class. She hoped that one day-he may notice her. "I'm sure he notices Temari…" she would mutter to herself. In Tenten's eyes, she was the complete opposite of hergood friend. And to gain what she believed that she didn't have, she went to lengths that no one ever knew about. Not even Temari-until after that last game.

The fluorescent lights shone brightly on her brunette hair. Sweat slowly trickled down her brow. Tension rose to the top; she looked around at her teammates, hoping they could offer support and relief. But none came as she bumped her volleyball against the wall. She was alone-as usual.

She worked hard to conceal her wrists. _No one can know-_she thought to herself. _Not now. I've got to show them-I can do something too. Something like…Temari_.

Tenten, though she did her best to conceal it, was jealous of her friend, and worked every day to prove that she could be just as successful. But somehow, it never satisfied Tenten. Somehow, she felt worthless. It was too bad that she couldn't see how Temari felt, or more importantly, God.

The bell rang and the bleachers began to fill up. The team did their cheer and the usual formalities before any game began. Everyone took their position-Tenten as the server. Her arms were shaking, and her head was spinning. But she ignored that.

"0 serving 0 service!" she shouted, and hit the ball. Her arm went too far, and the ball bounced off the ceiling. "Out…" everyone whispered under her own breath. Everyone looked in Tenten's direction. Not like that helped at all.

"_No-I can't give up now!"_ she said to herself under her breath "_Not when everyone's watching me!"_

Embarrassed, Tenten prepared for the other team's serve. It was gliding over the net, and Tenten ran towards the ball. "I've got ball!" she shouted as she went under the ball. She hit it hard, but it bounced into the net. The team groaned, and Tenten began to feel worse.

The game dragged on, and North Forest's score hardly improved. Tenten just couldn't focus, and it was obvious that the rest of the team thought of her as a third wheel. The team played well, except for Tenten that is, but still, the score remained 2-10. The people in the stands didn't know what to do. Would cheering make the shamed team feel better or worse?

The final whistle was sounded, and the end came. 4-19 was the final score. Pitiful. Tenten dared not look at anyone on her team. Soon, the tiled floors became rather interesting. Everyone filed out of the gym quickly; no one had anything to celebrate. But Tenten stayed behind. She grabbed the volleyball rolling on the ground and threw it.

"Why does this always happen to me?!" she screamed, and it echoed through the gym. But no one heard-no one was there any longer. "Why can't I just do something-good for a change? Something better than Temari?!"

She stood there and bumped, served, and set for a while against the wall. Sweat trickled down her face, but she didn't care. Her wrists were bleeding, but she didn't care. Her head was spinning, and she almost fell, but she ignored that. Nothing mattered, but trying to prove herself. She couldn't care about anything else.

Neji Hyuuga happened to still be lingering about the hallways. His chucks echoed through the gym hallway-off of the metal that seemed to be everywhere. But suddenly, he heard something that he knew wasn't his shoes.

Neji was one of those people who was naturally and instinctively nice, though he'd rather not show it (sweat drop). He heard something coming from the gym, and with sincere concern, he headed towards the gymnasium.

Meanwhile, Tenten kept on hitting the ball. Half of her hits were bad, but she wouldn't let that get her down. Half of her said that there were no excuses, while the other almost cried out in pain and exhaustion. She felt she had to do something to make herself worth something.

He sped up his pace, looking into the gym doors. "Tenten?" he looked in to see his classmate from Geometry. "What are you doing?" he noticed the volleyballs spread across the floor and the mix of sweat and tears all over her face.

"Neji?" Tenten asked weakly. Her face was glowing red, her head still spinning. She stood there, unable to do anything else, and embarrassed out of her mind.

"Are you alright?" he asked, confusion all over his face as he ran in.

"Please-don't-" Tenten couldn't finish her sentence as she suddenly fell to the floor and blacked out.

"Tenten!" Neji ran over to her, a little surprised at all of this going on.

Being the smart kid that he was-the one who actually paid attention in Health class, he knew what to do. He propped her feet up, for it was taught in health class that this helped a person in a black out. So the moral of this story is to pay attention in class.

"I'm going to get the nurse-I'll be right back" he said, though he doubted that she could hear him. And with that, Neji Hyuuga raced through the halls, his converse echoing off the walls. His hair kept getting in his eyes, but he didn't mind. One thing he thought of-getting to the nurse's office.

The other Volleyball team members, meanwhile were slowly walking through the lunch hallway. They talked and chattered, as though they had no cares in the world. Apparently, they couldn't care less about the game, or its results.

They saw Neji running through the hall, and looked a little confused. A couple of the girls blushed; Neji Hyuuga was popular amongst the sophomore girls. Why? He was sort of handsome, and he was smart, yet calm and relaxed. To see him running through the hallway was very unusual.

"Where are you going,Neji?" they all asked at different times, some with an air of flirtatiousness, and others out of blunt curiosity.

Ugh he hated fan girls. "Something's wrong with Tenten and-"

"Tenten? What's wrong with her?" the Volleyball players all asked. "It's not about the game, is it?" everyone on the team looked at each other in shame. "If we had-"

"She's blacked out"

"What?" "OMGosh!" "Tenten!" Lots of random interjections were shouted.

Neji did his best to not have an outburst. "If you could go back and check on her while I-" but of course, Neji Hyuuga could never finish the statement, since the girls were already off in separate directions. "Well, then" he muttered under his breath.

So off Neji went to the nurse's office, and within a half an hour, Tenten was lying in the health room. The Volleyball Players gathered around her unconscious body, and one girl, who apparently didn't know much about health asked, "Is she going to die?"

"Oh heavens, no!" The rather plump nurse replied, trying to smile. "She-has a lot wrong with her, but- she'll be alright," The girls looked far more relieved, but Neji Hyuugastill looked worried. After a while, the girls felt convinced that Tenten was alright, and left for home, waving to Neji. Awkwardly, he said farewell back, but turned to watch Tenten's motionless body.

He had begun to grow suspicious that something was wrong with Tenten. She never seemed focused in Geometry, and it wasn't that she was bored. Her eyes were glazed over with a troubled spirit; a lot was on her mind, Neji decided. But he didn't realize that she was on the verge- His thoughts were interrupted by a murmur by Tenten.

"Tenten," he said, relieved. His stoic expression remained, however.

"Wha-what happened?" she asked in a dazed voice. "Neji!" her voice was no more than a squeak. Her face was bright red-she couldn't hide anything.

"Are you-feeling any better?" Nejiasked

"…You waited here just to see if I was Ok?" she asked, smiling ever so slightly, but smiling all the same, eyes watered over.

He nodded, a little embarrassed.

Her eyes quickly wandered to the floor as she replied softly, "I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me,"

As she looked up from the floor, her eyes noticed her wrists, which were now uncovered from her wristbands, wrapped in bandages. "Oh no!" she almost screamed. "My-my" she couldn't speak.

"Yah-the nurse found out-" he didn't know what to say.

Tenten too was speechless. "Do-you-" Nejilooked up. "Do you-think of me differently now? Do you think I'm some…emo freak??" A tear escaped her eye.

Nejilooked surprised-of course he didn't think anything like that, but he could see why she asked.

"I used to think-that when people said-cutting made you feel better-that they were stupid-but, I see what they mean-I knew I shouldn't but-"

"It wasn't just cutting," Nejibegan. "It was drugs too-right?"

Tenten looked to the floor again. "Yah," Painful silence followed for a while. "I know you wouldn't believe me when I say that I didn't want to, and that I couldn't help it-And now that everyone knows, things'll be even worse-"

More unbearable than the conversation was the silence that fell between them. It wasn't easy to talk about.

"Why'd you do it?" Nejiasked, wondering what else there was to say, or was there not to say.

"Lots of reasons-lots of things-I can't explain though I wish I could-" she said, trying to make something simple that truly was not. "I'd rather not talk about it, I guess."

Nejiwas about to leave, when he added, "You know-You asked earlier if I'd think of you any differently," Tenten looked up, still bright red. "Maybe, in a sense, but I still-" he paused for a while, "…will think about you a lot,"

Tenten was frozen where she was in total ecstasy, "You-you-think about me? And even though you know about-what I've been doing-you-you won't hate me?"

Nejilooked back before he left, "Yah," Tenten's dark eyes followed him walking out, still amazed. She had thought that no one cared about her, let alone the one she had secretly loved…

"Thank you, Neji," she whispered as she fell asleep.

I think that Tenten's story was one of the most amazing things I had ever heard from Temari-or from anyone.

It began with Shikamaru-at long last-convincing Neji to tell Tenten how he felt for her. So reluctantly, Neji wrote her a letter and slipped it into her locker. He thought this was all so pointless, but Vince insisted that he do something and get it over with. The whole problem annoyed Shikamaru anyway. How little did Neji know how great of an impact that letter would make in Tenten's life.

When Tenten got home, she ran up to her room and closed the door. That was it. Everything weighed down on her too much-and she couldn't take it. Suicide had been in the back of her mind for-almost a year now, but now-it came up to her, screaming that she should just do it. She didn't think about how quick of a decision it was; she was just going to do it.

She threw her backpack across the room; she wasn't going to need that anymore. She threw her jacket off; she couldn't use that where she was planning on going. She rummaged through her dresser, looking for the knife she had saved for now. She had loads of knives of course, and knew how each one was designed to hit its target. She needed one to hit with a quick blow…. She had wondered how she was going to do this; where does it hit and kill the quickest? But as she pulled the knife closer to her chest, she noticed the paper she had found in her locker-the one she thought had been another note from her guidance councilor-fall out of her jacket pocket, right in front of her feet. Looking down on it, it fell open a bit, and she could see it wasn't from the office, the principle, her parents-or anyone that she had feared it to be from. She dropped the knife and picked the letter up.

As she opened it, she read:

If you knew there were second chances  
Would you stop awkward glances?

If you knew that someone loved you  
Would you believe them-would you think it true?

If you knew what happens after all  
You've done and hidden behind a wall  
Would you do it all again?  
Would you make better choices instead?

If the hurt would never go away  
Would you lie and say you're ok?

If I said there was a God  
Would you believe or call it fraud?

If I said there was hope from death-  
Would you take it or stop your breath?

Would you listen if I said  
You've been wrong and now instead  
You need to live-not fall down dead  
But stand and hope-for love exists

If I could form the words on my mouth  
How I'd feel if you were out  
If I could say how much I care  
How wierd I'd feel if you weren't there

If you just knew  
I doubt you do  
But if you did  
Would you say  
You felt the same way?

And on the end, a P.S. note was added, which read:

I meant to tell you that day we talked in the nurse's office - that I love you

Tenten had never thought-ever-that anyone, let alone the one she actually loved, thought about her, or loved her. The whole idea seemed so-so amazing. She didn't even know what to do as she sat on the bed, trembling.

Tears began to stream down her face, and her voice choked up, "Thank you-" she said in a hoarse whisper. "Thank you God"

Meanwhile, Temari was visiting. She always dropped by Tenten's after Chorus.

And as Tenten cried, Temari ran up the stairs frantically, screaming, "TENTEN!!! TENTEN!!! Are you alright? What's wrong?" Tenten never realized, I suppose, that her friend loved her more than anyone else in the world, and that she cared so much about her friend. Though Temari tried to stand independently, in reality, she could not live without her friend. She turned left, and pushed Tenten's door open to see her friend, wet with tears, clutching that letter with her life.

"Tenten!" she ran over and put her arms around her friend, "What happened?" And that was when she saw the knife on the floor, and looked at it in utter shock. She knew Tenten was suffering from a little depression problem-but suicidal? It was the last thing she would have ever guessed. "You-you-" her face was white, "You were going to-to _kill_ yourself?"

Tenten nodded, still crying.

Temari's eyes were wide with fear and shock. "And-what-what stopped you?"

As she cried, she handed Temari the letter. "He--he" she tried to say, "He loves me-" looking at the floor, her blush intermingling with her endless tears.

Temari read it over, not terribly amazed. Guys had written her love poems all the time before. But when she saw him talk about God-she realized, none of her admirers had had such a passion. They never talked about…"religion" and kept up with it. But this one-to Tenten-had true love in it. He kept with his religion, and he just saved Tenten. As though…God saved her. _Wow-_Temari thought_ I wonder-if he knew-that this was what she needed to hear-that it would save her life…_

She looked at her friend, then back at the letter. _How did he know-but me-her friend-didn't?_ That thought troubled her-that he had something that she didn't, but as she saw her friend, she was just glad her friend was alive.

Tenten walked into school the next day, looking for Neji everywhere. Finally she saw him, standing by his locker. She walked towards him, a smile on her face-a smile she had not felt for many years. Apparently, he noticed her walking, and turned around, a bit red in the face.

Another tear came to her eyes as she suddenly hugged him and whispered, "Thank you. You saved my life-in two ways,"

His face grew even more red. "Saved your-your life?" he asked, stuttering a little.

"Your letter stopped me from doing something-that I should have never thought about doing-" she said softly, a new hope filling her heart.


End file.
